Superkids

Yes, I have a special needs child, who is one of three. Yes, my life is hectic and stressful and my to-do lists never seem to end. I have very little “me time.” My needs almost always come last and I’m generally exhausted. But my life is also beautiful and blessed and I wouldn’t change it. But I digress from my point, which is this: I am not a hero, I am not amazing, I am not incredible. I am just a mom. I am just doing the same thing any other mom would do if she were in my shoes. You don’t know how I do it? You know what? Some days I don’t either. You just do what you have to do. When you have 3 little people depending on you, you don’t have much choice. I get through the day the best I can. Some days I do better than others. Some days I have very little patience, and some days I am calm as can be. Some days I laugh, some days I cry, some days I scream. But I am not superhuman. Most days, I’m just doing the best I can. Every mom wants what is best for their child(ren). I am no different. It is not always simple to meet the needs of a special needs child or even a “normal” child when you have more than one, but that’s what mom’s are for. Taking care of our kids is what we do best. And that’s really the point – I am just a mom, doing the best I can and hoping that it is enough. I worry that I neglect Addison because Violet and Oriana are more vocal and mobile. I worry that I haven’t had the time to do therapy exercises with her or put her braces on. I worry because there are days I don’t get to sit and hold her and she likes to cuddle. I worry that I neglect Violet and Oriana because simply feeding Addison and giving her medications is so time consuming. She needs positioned, she needs to stretch, she needs her braces put on, she needs to do tummy time, she needs a lot. The vast majority of the time it feels like nothing in our lives is simple. Doing anything with three little ones in complicated. Plus, we have to time things around Addi’s tube feeds or take all her feeding supplies with us. She sees a whole team of specialists every three months, plus regular pediatrician appointments and weekly physical and occupational therapy. Like I said, the to-do lists never seem to end. But seeing that little girl make even just a little progress is totally worth it. Plus, there’s nothing better than when she looks right at me and gives me one of her rare smiles. Seeing all our girls grow from tiny little preemies to mostly healthy, and definitely happy, almost 2 year olds has been amazing. So, the point is, my kids are awesome and inspirational; I am not. I’m just hanging on by a thread, hoping to make it through another day. Don’t take this the wrong way; I know people mean well when they say these things. These are just some of the things that run through your brain when you hear theses phrases said all the time. I’m just telling you how I feel about it all. And it’s not me you should be in awe of.